Comparison is one hell of a detrimental thing to do yourself. I struggled with comparing myself to my friends and peers for the longest time. For as long as I could remember I always compared myself to EVERYONE! When I would share this to my professors, peers, and friends, they would always tell me not to ever compare yourself. I politely nodded and agreed and said, “You know what, you’re right”, but hearing it and telling yourself not to compare yourself to other people is so much easier said than done. Refraining from comparing myself to others was a difficult journey. Any time something would not go my way I would jump into this reclusive dark hole and start telling myself I was not good enough and I should be where so and so is because they have this amazing blazay blazay job and I have worked just as hard if not more. The list is endless.
I just felt I deserved so much more and my current situation was not reflecting that. In those moments, I refused to own and accept where I was in my journey. I often sought out validation from anyone who would give it to me too. I would squander a lot of time on social media making myself even more depressed catching up with the lives of all of my peers while I would look at my life. Well damn look at little old me, still stuck working a retail job that pays a little over minimum wage. I was really on that struggle bus! In hindsight, I didn’t realize how damaging this was to my mind, body, soul, and spirit.
If you’ve made it this far and this sounds like you, I want you to pay very close attention to what I am about to say next!
Now while I was hardcore comparing myself to everyone, I was still cheering everyone on who was winning, growing, and achieving all of their goals! I’m glad to say I’ve actually grown out of the comparison phase, but every now and then, my mind likes to wander. Below are some key things to remember and do when you find yourself comparing yourself to others:
Write these quotes down and post them where you will see them everyday:
- “FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND MIND YOUR BUSINESS”
Diddy said it the best I must say, I have these same quotes written in my notes when the devil tries to creep in and play tricks on me. No, not today Satan! Guys I would not share anything that did not work. If you only worried about yourself your goals etc..you’ll be fine, the idea of comparison will become so foreign to you.
“Trust the process, your journey is meant for you and only you”
Accept where you are in your journey, for you’re there for a reason, let everything resonate so you can grow, elevate and be ready for what is to come!
“The moment you stop comparing yourself to others is the moment you truly set yourself free”
Comparing yourself is the biggest insult to your own destined path, your path will not be the same as the next person! You’ll become much more happier, when you refrain from doing this.
I know this is much easier said than done, trust me I know this based on experience. Give it time, write down post it notes and place it on your mirror of how brilliant you are. Write down some of your greatest accomplishments. You’ll notice a shift in how you feel once you stop comparing yourself to others. Its in an inexplicable feeling of liberation once you stop comparing yourself to people around you
- Limit your social media time:
Do yourself a favor, challenge yourself and close out a few social media apps a week. I thought I could not stay off of snapchat. I haven’t used it consistently since March of 2018. Now I’ll re-download it every 3-4 months just to see what new filters they added. Half the people on social media don’t show you what goes on behind closed doors when they aren’t getting all of the likes or posting about a new job offer. People love to put up a front on social media.
- Read Inspiring Self-Help Books
I have two great inspiring books that helped me along my way.
Mastery of Love and The 4 Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. I am constantly reading new books. I am getting ready to pick up a new book called Editor in Chic: How to Style and be Your most Empowered Self by Mikki Taylor. I hear such amazing things about how inspiring this woman is!
Do you guys think comparison can seen as a virtue? If so I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on this! Leave a comment below